Tomorrow's Yesterday

xwhatserface:

Just found this on facebook. This has probably already been posted here but I don’t care it’s hilarious and I love it and it’s going on my blog

A liberal muslim homosexual ACLU lawyer professor and abortion doctor was teaching a class on Karl Marx, known atheist.”Before the class begins, you must get on your knees and worship Marx and accept that he was the most highly-evolved being the world has ever known, even greater than Jesus Christ!”At this moment, a brave, patriotic, pro-life Navy SEAL champion who had served 1500 tours of duty and understood the necessity of war and fully supported all military decisions made by the United States stood up and held up a rock.”How old is this rock, pinhead?”The arrogant professor smirked and smugly replied “4.6 billion years, you stupid Christian.””Wrong. It’s been 5,000 years since God created it. If it was 4.6 billion years old and evolution, as you say, is real… then it should be an animal now.”The professor was visibly shaken, and dropped his chalk and copy of Origin of the Species. He stormed out of the room crying those liberal crocodile tears.The students applauded and all registered Republican that day and accepted Jesus as their lord and savior. An eagle named “Small Government” flew into the room and perched atop the American Flag and shed a tear on the chalk. The pledge of allegiance was read several times, and God himself showed up and enacted a flat tax rate across the country.The professor lost his tenure and was fired the next day and was tossed into the lake of fire for all eternity.Semper Fi.p.s. close the bordersp.p.s. That ex-SEAL was EINSTEIN.SHARE THIS IF YOU LOVE FREEDOM.



The eagle then puked out an American flag and Abraham Lincoln came out of a time portal to hang it proudly on the flag post in the classroom.
God bless America.

xwhatserface:

Just found this on facebook. This has probably already been posted here but I don’t care it’s hilarious and I love it and it’s going on my blog

A liberal muslim homosexual ACLU lawyer professor and abortion doctor was teaching a class on Karl Marx, known atheist.

”Before the class begins, you must get on your knees and worship Marx and accept that he was the most highly-evolved being the world has ever known, even greater than Jesus Christ!”

At this moment, a brave, patriotic, pro-life Navy SEAL champion who had served 1500 tours of duty and understood the necessity of war and fully supported all military decisions made by the United States stood up and held up a rock.

”How old is this rock, pinhead?”

The arrogant professor smirked and smugly replied “4.6 billion years, you stupid Christian.”

”Wrong. It’s been 5,000 years since God created it. If it was 4.6 billion years old and evolution, as you say, is real… then it should be an animal now.”

The professor was visibly shaken, and dropped his chalk and copy of Origin of the Species. He stormed out of the room crying those liberal crocodile tears.

The students applauded and all registered Republican that day and accepted Jesus as their lord and savior. An eagle named “Small Government” flew into the room and perched atop the American Flag and shed a tear on the chalk. The pledge of allegiance was read several times, and God himself showed up and enacted a flat tax rate across the country.

The professor lost his tenure and was fired the next day and was tossed into the lake of fire for all eternity.

Semper Fi.
p.s. close the borders
p.p.s. That ex-SEAL was EINSTEIN.

SHARE THIS IF YOU LOVE FREEDOM.

The eagle then puked out an American flag and Abraham Lincoln came out of a time portal to hang it proudly on the flag post in the classroom.

God bless America.

(Source: vvhatserface, via kayreeen)

— 1 year ago with 2537 notes
#I lost my shit when I read this  #holy quad 
  1. big-booby-just-the-one reblogged this from eggs-benediction
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  11. mrmistofales reblogged this from bmsmith623
  12. smiiileorelse reblogged this from hookah-matata and added:
    LMFAO
  13. thegreatadventureahead reblogged this from cl4vicles
  14. shhwang reblogged this from rolanmcdolan
  15. rushipan reblogged this from bitchesaloud
  16. vaginapowersactivate reblogged this from rat2rrj
  17. rat2rrj reblogged this from pleasecouldyounot and added:
    …my mother just said she believes this. Nope, I’m nestled deep in my closeted abode.
  18. piotrmil reblogged this from lyraeon and added:
    You misspelled stupid.
  19. lyraeon reblogged this from rat2rrj
  20. typical-timelord reblogged this from ladybug--sex
  21. ladybug--sex reblogged this from thebaptizedagnostic and added:
    died. kfh;sdkjfsf
  22. inbedwithstrangers reblogged this from crushtor
  23. crushtor reblogged this from harpy-in-trousers
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  25. harpy-in-trousers reblogged this from portfoliage
  26. redundanturlisredundant reblogged this from kim-jong-healthy and added:
    Omg. I’m dying. The sheer stupidity is over 9000
  27. artificeofeternity reblogged this from vvhatserface
  28. kim-jong-healthy reblogged this from vvhatserface and added:
    I lol’d
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